Archives for posts with tag: self-esteem

I should be a what? Did you seriously just break one of the major laws of the ladies by saying I should be “an inspiration to other overweight (thanks for softening the blow by not outright saying FAT) people” because I bike to work and do Bikram yoga? Look, Skeletor, I may be weighing in more than I’d like, but I kick ass, look good, and can squash you like a bug. You may be used to these anorexic looking, padded bra wearing, scrawny coeds from college, and you may think you’re being “nice” by complimenting my exercise level for “my size” but seriously, you’re being very insulting.
The universe is well acquainted with my constant struggle with my weight which is thwarted by a slow metabolism linked to a family history of thyroid deficiency, a love of food, a history of some really crappy eating habits that I keep sliding into (homemade pecan pie to reduce my stress load? Why not?!), a lifetime of a sedentary life style, and about 10 years of near poverty. You think poverty has nothing to do with it? Load up your cart with fresh vegetables and fruits and nuts, then load another with prepacked food stuffs. Calculate calories per dollar, and my near vegetarian, no prepackaged diet all of a sudden gets expensive. It’s not everyone who has to choose whether to eat healthy or put gas in the car. So insulting my weight not only insults my weight, but also my financial status, my poor emotional relationship with food, and makes me feel like less of a person because I don’t fit into a standard cookie cutter mold of the idealized scrawny, big breasted woman.
Frankly, my exercise level should be an inspiration to everyone, along my constant recommitting to going organic, sustainable, and local food stuffs. Most importantly, I inspire myself. I am amazed how great I feel after biking ten miles into Bellingham, and even more amazed that I want to do more even though my legs are shaking by the time I get off my “g-ride” (I’m still trying to think of a good name for my pink motobecane cafe latte….). I may not be a skeletor, I may not be outright obese looking (Doctors would say I am!), but I’m happy with where I’m headed and my reasons for heading down this path. Besides. Can you do this? (Taken last year, but trust me. I can bend even further back than this, and Bikram does determine your life health by your back bend. I think this is a good sign!)

hey, I can point behind me!

Bring it on, Skeletors.

 

selfesteemeveryone has them. Even under the kabuki mask, high heels, and classy for a fish monger get up, I have moments where I feel so terrible, it’s only that magical pair of heels holding me up.  I know everyone on this planet earth have had those earth shattering thoughts come up of complete and utter inadequacy. Although armed with this knowledge and a perfect grasp of how amazing I am, I am shaken down to the very last shred of esteem far more often than I care to admit.  Luckily for me, I have a core group of me fans that remind me where I really stand. As a very good friend told me, “Put the stick down. Can’t you see how bloody you are making yourself?” This seeped into my 12 guage skull, and I could actaully see myself dressed as an executioner beating up myself with a baseball bat. Having recently watched Inglorious Basterds , this was easier than I thought. Put the stick down, everyone. Just do it. You don’t have to beat yourself up, the world will do a fine enough job on its own. You get to simply love you.