No thanks. I like my food “whole”: as in not isolated, analysed, torn asunder for it’s “nutrients”. Oh, sure, you have lost a ton of weight eating your nutritionally righteous shake chock full of isolated soy and whey protein, omega-3 fatty acids, and antioxidant fruit extracts, and really, you look great. I’ll still pass. I like my food to look pretty much how it looked when it was pulled from the ground. I am sure you would have lost that belly fat if you just ate more vegetables, less meat, and only whole foods. The theory is pretty simple: Is it a vegetable, fruit, or root? Munch away. When you eat it, does it look like what it looked like  when it came from the ground? Proceed. Is it deep fried, pulled apart to it’s microconstituencies, over salted, turned into a mush, and processed beyond recognition? Put that shit down. Is it really that hard to, I don’t know, eat some damn vegetables? Perhaps some fruits? Heck, if you ate whole grains, threw in some beans into your diet and whoosh! There goes the need for all that protein you were getting from meat (which we don’t really need as much as we think we do!) and animal products!
But what about all the time to make food? Food is meant to take time and care to prepare, and it’s meant to be an enjoyable process. There’s no reason to hate your stove. It’s your friend. It can roast your veggies (root vegetables and even regular veggies are superb roasted), sautee your greens with a touch of garlic to cut astringency, and poach with a nice broth…. which is very simple to make yourself. This process of preparing and cooking meals is done world round, and it’s only the industrialized western cultures that abhor this one time family and human tradition. It doesn’t make sense to me. Eating meals together brings family and friends closer, and should be a celebration. It’s the thing that still keeps my brother and I together despite different friend circles and diverse lifestyles. We still get together once a week to make food, like we grew up doing.

So, to all of you out there offering me a taste of your awesome, super duper healthy shake, I have two words for you: no thanks. Unless it’s this shake.

Master Shake!

That's Master Shake, to you.